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13 April 2009 @ 07:51 am
Xander Harris Versus Destiny - 4/? Spike/Xander Mature  
Title: Xander Harris versus Destiny (4/?)
Authors: cordelianne, reremouse, savoytruffle
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Badly planned plans, hot dogs, cheerleaders, business cards and a dirty old man
Summary: Xander's got places to be, things to do. Giles wishes Xander had given the Council a heads up. Spike figures, what the hell, the pay's good and it's not like he's got other plans at the moment.
Note: Now with fantastic movie poster by the talented katekat1010 beneath the cut. Both can be seen here. Thank you, kate!





Spike's a learn as you go kind of guy. Always has been. Always will be.

He learns Harris has a penchant for cheeseburgers with extra onions and infers from that he's not been getting any of late despite his apparent success with the migratory birds of Tijuana.

He learns Harris is surprisingly subtle about slipping away when a bloke's turned to the bar to order a refill.

He learns Harris isn't subtle about much else and can't shake a tail to save his life. Granted, it's not much of a tail stuck five cars behind him at the border for two hours and forty five minutes.

But he learns from it that Harris is visibly more comfortable on American soil.

Takes a while before he learns more than that about Harris but he learns plenty about being flagged over for a random search at the border and the wisdom of not letting the impatience show all that much.

Fortunately, Harris is predictable and careless and hasn't bothered to look under his car's bumper lately. He's staying at the Motel 6 in Yuma.

Spike checks into the Hilton.

He catches up with Harris again in Las Cruces.

At a cheerleading competition.

Spike settles in to keep an eye on Harris until Harris does whatever Harris is here to do.

He has to admit the scenery in this gig isn't bad of late.

He buys a hot dog.




"Think about it," Xander says and gives Selena his business card. He learned the hard way it's a hell of a lot more effective than asking them to wait around while he writes his phone number.

Definite creepy old man vibes.

Which wig Xander even more than they wig the girls and the less of that in his life the better.

She takes a look at the card. "What if I don't want to?"

"Then no pressure. Just - y'know - in case. Hang onto it."

She's staring at him and he does his best to radiate Safe Ol' Harmless Xander. It's easy when the girl in question can kick his ass and they both know it. "Okay." She tucks the card into her backpack. "Thanks."

He stands there and watches her go - totally not in a creepy old man way because he is just too old for that kind of creepy and way too young to be - okay he lost the thread of that one.

God he's tired. "I knew you were there you know," he says over his shoulder.

"Did not," Spike answers because of course that's what Spike'd say.

"No. Seriously." Xander turns around and looks him up and down. He looks just like he did in Yuma. Totally out of place in the heat and really conspicuous. "You've been following me since The Dalles."

"Pfft. Shows what you know." Spike pauses to light a cigarette. Like he always does. "Caught up with you in Walla Walla. Thought I'd bide my time."

Or maybe not as conspicuous as Xander thought. Still: "We're in Las Cruces. That's a lot of time biding."

"Intelligence gathering," Spike retorts.

Xander's raised eyebrow says all he has to say about that.

"Fuck off." Spike smokes furiously until the cigarette's just a butt and then he litters on the grass while around them cheerleaders and cheer parents totally ignore them. Spike ignores them back. "Why're you so calm about all this?"

"Been around. Seen things. Hard to get worked up over a little littering." It's not what Spike meant and they both know it but Xander's always been content to be the monkey wrench in any poorly thought out plan. Of which Spike has many.

It's actually good to see him.

"Where are you staying?"

Spike shrugs. "Ramada Inn."

Xander just looks at him.

"What?"

Xander shakes his head. "I'm trying to picture it." And failing.

"'S got a hot tub," Spike mutters around his cigarette.

"I've got a swim suit."

Spike's grin makes up for all Xander's dirty old man vibes avoidance earlier on; it's filthy.

"I don't," he says.
 
 
 
cmk418: BtVS xandercmk418 on April 13th, 2009 03:22 pm (UTC)
Nice! Xander and Spike together at last. Loved how this ended - you have me looking forward to the next part.
reremousereremouse on April 14th, 2009 02:49 am (UTC)
Thanks - that's the fun of cowriting. I'm looking forward to the next part too!
Two legs good, four legs okaynothorse on April 13th, 2009 03:52 pm (UTC)
Very cute. The level of snark is just right.

cultural sidequestion: people actually go into hot tubs with swim suits?
reremousereremouse on April 14th, 2009 02:50 am (UTC)
Thanks! And yeah - when they're public hot tubs, Americans tend to wear swimsuits. Beats getting arrested and thrown out of the hotel for indecent exposure. Unless you're Spike.
Kevin Jonesmulder200 on April 13th, 2009 05:08 pm (UTC)
And the two finally hook up at last. And the banter is lovely!
reremousereremouse on April 14th, 2009 02:50 am (UTC)
Thanks! It was bound to happen!
brunettepetbrunettepet on April 13th, 2009 05:58 pm (UTC)
So, Spike's given up on the stalking, I mean following, and now he's just going to hang out with Harris? In a hot tub? Naked? I am very, very pleased by this turn of events.

I loved this fantastic line: He learns Harris has a penchant for cheeseburgers with extra onions and infers from that he's not been getting any of late despite his apparent success with the migratory birds of Tijuana. The detail of the extra onions and the Spring Break chicas being migratory birds gave me a smile.

This exchange made me laugh out loud: "We're in Las Cruces. That's a lot of time biding."

"Intelligence gathering," Spike retorts.

Xander's raised eyebrow says all he has to say about that.

"Fuck off."
Xander's silenct eyebrow raise at Spike's Intelligence gathering was hysterical, as was Spike's retort.

This story is delightful.
reremousereremouse on April 14th, 2009 02:51 am (UTC)
That about sums it up. I'm pretty pleased with the turn of events too and am looking forward to the next part as much as everyone else. One of the perks of cowriting.
kargrif on April 14th, 2009 02:32 am (UTC)
YAY! more fic! you guys are always great apart but brilliant when you team up! So many twists and curves to keep you guessing what's going on and where it's going. Lovin' it!
reremousereremouse on April 14th, 2009 02:51 am (UTC)
Thanks! It's always great to team up. I get the fun of writing and the fun of reading all in one story. Good deal.
doingsoso: Applause gifdoingsoso on April 15th, 2009 08:40 am (UTC)
"'S got a hot tub," Spike mutters around his cigarette.

"I've got a swim suit."

Spike's grin makes up for all Xander's dirty old man vibes avoidance earlier on; it's filthy.

"I don't," he says."


I love the way you do Spike and Xander. The banter is really great. You must get tired of hearing all this over and over.

But I'm just cheering y'all on:)

Great chapter!
reremousereremouse on June 11th, 2009 11:58 pm (UTC)
Thanks! The banter is so much fun to write I just can't give it up.
shadowscastshadowscast on May 14th, 2009 02:40 am (UTC)
Xander's always been content to be the monkey wrench in any poorly thought out plan. Of which Spike has many.

Hahahaha! Yeah.
reremousereremouse on June 11th, 2009 11:59 pm (UTC)
They're a perfect pairing - Spike has lots of plans and Xander's got lots of monkey wrenches.
emilygoober: fairyemilygoober on May 30th, 2009 10:03 pm (UTC)
xander losing track of his own babble.. *giggles* *wipes away tear*...
reremousereremouse on June 11th, 2009 11:59 pm (UTC)
You would too!