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18 April 2009 @ 05:37 pm
Xander Harris Versus Destiny - 7/? Spike/Xander Mature  
Title: Xander Harris versus Destiny (7/?)
Authors: cordelianne, reremouse, savoytruffle
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Tetchiness, graphic threats, flouting of laws
Summary: Xander's got places to be, things to do. Giles wishes Xander had given the Council a heads up. Spike figures, what the hell, the pay's good and it's not like he's got other plans at the moment.
Note: Fantastic movie poster by the talented katekat1010 beneath the cut. Both can be seen here. Thank you again, kate!

You'd think it wouldn't take Spike long to find Harris in a city of 25,919.

You'd be wrong.

But you wouldn't stop thinking it.

Spike's starting to fear for his reputation.

Doesn't help that Giles' replacement headset caught up with him at the front desk in Dallas and Spike hasn't had a good opportunity to ditch the bloody thing yet.

Which he will.

Don't think he won't.

"Don't think I won't," he says into the headset, doing ninety five down the 77. It's three in the morning and he's working Giles' last nerve. A bloke's got to do something with all that pent up energy.

"Do, and I'll tie your bollocks in a knot you won't untie any time soon."

Then again, Rupert gets a lot more interesting to chat with at three in the morning with his last nerve worked. Spike works it. "You and what slayer?"


It gives Spike actual pause. "She know her way around the anatomy well enough for that?"

"I have no idea, Spike but I suspect she'd appreciate the opportunity to learn."



Spike smiles. "Right, then. Did you just call to tell me how much you love me or is this a business call?"

"You called me." Giles' exhaustion radiates over the line.

"And why's that?" Spike asks rhetorically. "Oh, that's right, it's because someone left a message insisting I call him back as soon as I get the headset."

"You got the headset in Dallas."

Bloody FedEx tracking.

"Yeah, well, I didn't open it until just now, did I?"

"Where are you now?"

"Ponca City." He blasts past the town limits sign, "Oh, nope. Just missed it. Somewhere in Oklahoma then."

"Where's Xander?"

"Buggered if I know." Spike makes a U-turn straight out of Hazzard. Because wherever he is, Spike's pretty sure last night guaranteed it's in Ponca City.

"Are you even looking for him?"

"Sure." Spike slams on the brakes half a mile from a speed trap and coasts along past a black and white at a sedate fifty nine miles per hour. "Caught up with him here and there but he's a slippery sod."

Very slippery.

Spike enjoys a man not afraid to get messy in the name of mutual gratification.


"What? Oh. Yeah. Thoughts wandered."

"It's three thirty in the morning."

"Yeah. Well. Two thirty here. What's your point?"

"I - "

Spike tears past a strip mall, two big box stores and an office complex while Rupert wraps his mind around that one.

"I'm not sure I have one," Giles eventually admits. "I'm completely knackered."

"Best get some sleep then, pet," Spike says in his most soothing voice.

"You have absolutely no shame have you?"

"Not so's you'd notice," Spike agrees.

"Call me when you've found him. I'm not sure how much longer I can put Buffy and Willow off with tales of grand adventure."

"I could put 'em off," Spike offers. Why not? Might be fun.

"Er. No. I suspect they might not appreciate the..."

"Wild goose chase?"


Spike chuckles. "Night, Rupert."

Giles pauses. "Right. Good night, Spike."

Spike shuts off the phone, spins the car into the Conoco lot and sells the headset to a passing trucker for $40 and a pack of American Spirits.

He lights up and sniffs the air.

And catches a whiff of Harris.
doingsosodoingsoso on April 19th, 2009 12:58 am (UTC)
Heee! Another chapter!

This is so much blasted fun...

Love the Spike/Giles interaction:D

And Spike being his typical Spikey self, LOL.

My imagination is running on over time trying to figure out what Xander is doing. You people are evvvvooolll and twisty, and don't stop. Heh.

reremousereremouse on June 12th, 2009 12:00 am (UTC)
hee! thanks! it was more complex being evil and twisty times three but what fun is life if you don't challenge yourself?
kargrif on April 19th, 2009 01:03 am (UTC)
it's like Mr. Toad wild ride!!

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! lol
reremousereremouse on June 12th, 2009 12:00 am (UTC)
It really really is!
(Anonymous) on April 19th, 2009 01:15 am (UTC)
Really enjoyed the sassy giles and spike interaction!!
reremousereremouse on June 12th, 2009 12:00 am (UTC)
julia_here: Read and Approvedjulia_here on April 19th, 2009 02:47 am (UTC)
Knackered, myself; long day of spring-related action.


Julia, and this is the cherry a'top
reremousereremouse on June 12th, 2009 12:00 am (UTC)
Better than the nuts. Really.
Kevin Jonesmulder200 on April 19th, 2009 09:31 am (UTC)
Hm. This continues to get more and more interesting. What is Xander up to?
And you gotta love the Spike & Giles banter. So much fun.
reremousereremouse on June 12th, 2009 12:00 am (UTC)
Thanks. I surprised myself with the Spike and Giles banter. Who knew!
brunettepetbrunettepet on April 19th, 2009 01:00 pm (UTC)
This unrepentantly bothersome Spike is hilarious. Calling Giles at three in the morning just to work his last nerve had me snickering, as did Giles' empty threats. I could feel his exasperation through the phone as Spike was reliving his slippery, porntastic time with Xander. Giles would be appalled.

It's like Spike is on a scavenger hunt with Xander as the prize.
reremousereremouse on June 12th, 2009 12:02 am (UTC)
I surprised myself with how much fun the Spike and Giles banter was. Unrepentant Spike is the best Spike.
cmk418: BtVS - Gilescmk418 on April 20th, 2009 03:21 pm (UTC)
Love the back & forth between Spike and Giles as well as Spike's reminiscing on the previous encounter with Xander. Nice work!
reremousereremouse on June 12th, 2009 12:03 am (UTC)
shadowscastshadowscast on May 14th, 2009 02:51 am (UTC)
Spike shuts off the phone, spins the car into the Conoco lot and sells the headset to a passing trucker for $40 and a pack of American Spirits.

Hahaha! Poor Giles.
reremousereremouse on June 12th, 2009 12:03 am (UTC)
It's all part of keeping Spike happy and on the team.
emilygoober: fairyemilygoober on May 30th, 2009 10:26 pm (UTC)
i'm sure spike will do his best to get his reputation back now. spike annoying giles was perfect. *misses annoying!spike*
reremousereremouse on June 12th, 2009 12:04 am (UTC)
Or Spike will wake up tomorrow denying his reputation was ever sullied. It could really go either way with him.